Why do some people accept things and move on, while other people pull you down with them?
Many, some of them people I personally know, have gone through the most horrendous events in their lives, war-times, fleeing their own countries, abuse and torture. Despite these things in their past, they have amazingly dealt with it and moved on, living in the present, and are happy people. Other people I know struggle, often on a daily basis, with chronic disease, general ill health, difficult personal events like bad breakups or divorce, financial problems, and the list could carry on to the bottom of this page. And yet, these people hold a positive view on life. Perhaps, they have realized how fragile life can be, and are just simply lucky to be alive.
Then you meet people that just cannot pull themselves out of misery. Sometimes I feel really bad for the one concerned, but other times, they bug me, to be frank. You find yourself doing a lot, if not almost everything, to try to help. Then you realize that no matter what you do, it just does not help. In the worst cases, they even try to bring you down with them. You start finding yourself being abused, and even worse, used… manipulated. I think to myself, perhaps, that what makes the difference is how ‘spoilt’ you were to start with. They may be partly spoilt, but also very much insecure. This may, however, very well have come from someone having been very spoilt. They have not learned how to deal with even minor disasters in their life, they have been given no independence, perhaps ‘daddy was always there to amend it’… It sounds like I am resentful against a certain type of behavior, or maybe a certain person, perhaps, but I really am not. Sometimes, however, I do find it very difficult to deal with a certain kind of self indulgence, when I have so many people around me dealing with far bigger issues.
Personally, three ‘events’ changed my outlook on life. My very first awakening to life’s possible struggles came when I met, and became best friends, with a girl at primary school. She was adopted. I know, not a huge thing perhaps, but it was a big thing at that age to be thinking about, and trying to understand. Adding to this, I witnessed this person being subject to some racist remarks which really set me off, both acting and shaped a great deal of my being too. Although we have very little contact today, I was, and am still today, fond of my very first best friend.
When I turned 14, and was going through the toughest and most confusing time in my teenage years, I got type 1 diabetes. It’s not cancer, but it sure taught me great responsibility, and how fragile your health, and even life can be. I was not too far from death, I guess. Around about the same time I met, and became friends with, some of the most amazing people on this planet. My dear friends, you know who you all are. They changed me forever. To hear about their life stories of war, and sometimes torturous events, really woke me up to the reality of this world. I carry their stories, and positive spirits, with me every day and I am certain that I will, someday, devote myself to charity work.
So, I have learned that the events were not what shaped these people, ultimately, but the destiny shaping of their personalities was much more deeply seated inside that persons ‘ability’ to deal with things; how they view, or feel, life. Of course, these people grew up in a very safe and loving family (and, most of the time, environment), but I have learned that this may not be as important a contributor as one may think. Some of the most ‘bitter’ people I have come across have very much come from loving and safe homes.
Just some thoughts. That is all for now. And love & peace to you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment