I don't know.

Today my little family went to Ikea. It's funny how I don't like it, but still somewhere deep down inside of me I do, and that is just the way I feel about Sweden too. Although I was born there, I don't feel very Swedish somehow. I always had a 'thing' for England, something I just cannot explain. But even so, there is something about Sweden that haunts me, follows me wherever I go. Sometimes it feels like a summers breeze, other times like one of those days you sit inside staring out the window knowing you will freeze if you go out there. Not only places, but people can do that to one too. It is always there, if you are parted. No matter how hard you are trying to 'get away', you just can't. I make it sound tragic, but it really isn't, quite the opposite. It is also a security. When you have that feeling, as something so sweet tasting yet knowing that it will turn bitter if you suck on it for too long, it can be difficult to know which path to take. It's what keeps you going back, and what will also make you leave soon again. It takes time to learn just how much you can take. I guess one can only listen to ones instincts, the gut. I trust the gut the most. There is no point trying to intellectualise these things... Because, it is simply not rational, and it is not suppose to be either. That would take away all of the beauty in that lovely, warming summer breeze you will get to experience over and over again, going back to the place and also when you leave.